1. I’m not that type of girl.

Shut the fuck up, yes you are. The more you say this, the more convinced I am that you really are the filthy whore I thought you were at first sight. How many dozens of girls do you think I’ve been with? Trust me, no man has ever heard a girl utter these words and thought, “Hmm, I guess she really is a good girl.” I’m not judging you! I talked to you because you’re easy.

2. I don’t normally do this.

See #1. Shut the fuck up, yes you do. I’m not some fucking Adonis. I’m not George Clooney. I’m just a reasonably attractive man with decent game. You do this all the fucking time. I know you’re rationalizing this and defining normal as more than once per week, but I know I’m not the first, and probably not even the third man you’ve done this with this year.

3. He’s creepy.

Sorry girls, you cried wolf too many times. It seems every beta male is “creepy”. It’s shaming language and you need to stop this shit. 9 times out of 10, the offending beta occupies the same spot on the distribution of male attractiveness as the complaining girl does on the female distribution. Unless you can back up your claim of creepiness with a story about how you caught him masturbating in the bushes, I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt and assuming he just lacks game and you’re a bitch.

4. Like you totally talk like a fucking retard?

You know like how girls use like way too much? And they like talk like every word is a question and their like voices go up at the end of like every sentence? That like totally makes my dick flaccid?

5. Pouty/kissy lips.

When a man does it, it’s called punch face. When a girl does it, she looks like a stupid bitch. Want a man to think you’re pump and dump material? Make pouty lips. Seriously. You look like fool.

6. Comments

I’ve just accepted these facts about girls. Makes it more fun for me. As for the creepy guy, gotta disagree. I’ve been around or seen enough seemingly OK guys suddenly become creepy around girls. Sometimes overt, sometimes just the look on their face, sometimes the vibe. Also, every now and then a guy hits on me (this is DC) so I have actual experience with the creepiness. They are pretty easy to spot, and I can’t help but stay away myself. Yeah, I agree with the Rookie on the creepy guy shit, some guys actually do do some extra creepy, lame shit around women. Every hot girl has to deal with a few creepy guys…. it’s part of life. So, wait, so, you’re saying all the girls that gave me head and said shit like “I don’t normally do this” or “I’ve only done this to like one other guy, and we were in a committed LTR” is all lies? Seriously though, like 80-90% of chicks that have given me head have said one of the above two lines. Shit has gotten annoying. I think I maybe believed the first 2 or 3 chicks….. but that was in my younger days and before a dozen of them came along and said the exact same thing. Why on Earth would any woman try to convince a nasty dick slut like yourself that “she doesn’t ordinarily do this”. That’s ALL she’s with you for… to get some. You’ve got to be kidding us if you think we actually buy your fantasy that women are trying to “prove” something to you. Yeah right. Some random guy from a bar? We don’t give a fuck about your type. We’re not interested in marrying you or having your child. Man, you really drank the koolaid.